Fan-fiction · Fire Emblem · Free Smut! · Goofing Around · Hot Flashes · Lesbian Love · Reluctance


i’m gonna be real with you, i wrote this as quickly as possible before someone else sniped the phrase NINJABBIT ATTACK and i DO NOT APOLOGIZE.

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Kagero attuned her ears. Every creak of every floorboard and every swish of every unseen animal through the garden grass represented a possible threat. Though she shook with nerves, and her heart pounded in her ears, she was vigilant; the stakes were simply too great to lower her guard.

“Orochi…” She pressed her cheek against the door, whispering, “I feel foolish.”

A tremor of a giggle from within the bedchamber. “Nonsense, my dear! I’m sure you look good enough to eat!”

Blushing with Orochi’s coy riposte, Kagero twisted this way and that, adjusting her ridiculous outfit. The heels were far too tall for any woman’s comfort—any human woman, though perhaps the Taguels of myth had better balance. The stockings clung to her legs, restricting movement and pressing soft red lines into her thighs. They had several runs already. The little poof of a tail on her rump, what purpose did it serve?? And the corset. The corset! It boggled the mind!


Though Oboro had retailored the bizarre Nohrian contraption, it was somehow too tight around the middle, where it threatened to suffocate her, and too small around the chest, where her… admittedly… overample breasts shook with near-sentience, and even the slightest motion seemed to poise them a hair’s breadth away from breaking free into open air. The open air of Hoshido Castle . Where any passing attendant or, god forbid, Lord could see. As if that indignity weren’t enough, the outfit positively gripped between her legs, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination—as if it were molded to her! Tight enough to be practically painful. And yet—

It was the bunny ears that troubled her the most.

Oh, she did not understand Nohrian customs at all!

“I’m waaaaiiiting…” came the carnivorously cute and cajoling cry of her friend, through the thin paper barrier.

But if it was for Orochi…

Kagero summoned all the ancestral will that several generations of servants to the throne had imbued within her, and with a final righting of the bunny ears atop her head, she gripped her ornamental carrot tightly and flung open the door!

“Aie!” With a faux-shriek, Orochi fell back upon her futon, propping herself up with one hand. “Oh, no !” After a breath, she shook her ceremonial robes into an appropriate amount of disarray, revealing rather more than a hint of her similarly ample cleavage. Her splayed legs quivered with fresh exposure of creamy thighs to the chill springtime air. “The ninjabbit has found me!” The red fox tail pinned to the back of her robe was, by chance, tucked between her pristine legs, as she trembled in a theatrical display of fear.

Despite the copious briefing Orochi had delivered over breakfast, Kagero was still unclear on why, in this scenario, the fox was the prey.

“L-Lo…” Kagero’s throat flexed. She injected a stern tenor into her voice. “It is I, the fearsome…” She coughed, gripping the sculpted carrot at her side. The word escaped her body in a mortified sigh. “…ninjabbit…”

“Please—” Orochi lunged onto her knees, clasping her hands before her. The motion shook the cheap fox ears from their tenuous perch atop her head, falling in front of her eyes like an ersatz visor. “I beg of you, kind Miss, I’ve done no wrong!” She broke character, momentarily, to reseat her askew hairband. “If you have any goodness left in your twisted soul, please, put the carrot down.”

Kagero’s gaze flitted from the lustrous glisten of Orochi’s tears, performative or not, in her already soulful eyes to her own left hand, raised before her. “Forsooth, it shall not be so. For I am a… a…” A groan. Nervous sweat had smudged the writing on her palm.

Orochi crept forward atop the mattress, dropping onto all fours, unable to restrain her giggles. “Beast of terrible debauchery,” she whispered, with an instructive shimmy of her tail.

“A beast of terrible debauchery!” Kagero screwed her courage to the sticking point as she approached the climax of her speech. “It is my right, as Lord Hare of this cursed forest.” She broke the air before her with a mighty thrust of her carrot. The electric thrill of her attack ran all the way down to her toes; inwardly, she sighed with relief—thank the gods she was finally settling into her role. Why, her hair was positively standing on end! “And so I declare, the hour of claiming is night!”

“…nigh…” Orochi whispered.

“NIGH!” Kagero corrected herself with a mighty bellow, spreading her arms. Pinprickles erupted all over her skin. “I…” She coughed. Time dilated around her. Orochi panted in slow motion, flush with the shimmer of passion. “I will…” Was the room getting brighter?. “I will now…” Kagero clenched her eyes shut, shook away the dizziness of romantic energy nibbling at her brain, and stabbed her weapon skyward.



All at once the pinprickles of energy fled; her body calmed, her heartbeat slowed. The air was cooler, all of a sudden, and oddly damp. The rasp of Kagero’s breathing echoed off of close, unfamiliar stone.

A brief, awkward snicker broke the silence.

Kagero’s blinking eyes were confronted with a strange reality—the terrace of a foreign castle, as unlike as Orochi’s bedchamber as any place Kagero could think of. At her feet, an eldritch circle, its purpose spent, drained its color into the night. Confronting her was the gobsmacked, wide-eyed face of a youthful man. The source of the snicker, Kagero surmised, was the blonde woman standing beside him, her eyes welling up with sympathy for Kagero’s surprise exposure—which rang somewhat hollow, given how she muffled her laughter with a hand clenched around her mouth. Behind them, a short woman in heavy robes politely looked away, overtly busying herself fiddling with a strange golden device.

A flash of light and pop of sound assailed her, then another, then another. Unmasked by this surprise attack, Kagero became rather dizzy. Above the clatter of Kagero’s carrot falling to the stone floor, the familiar voice of a petite and pecuniary redhead exclaimed, “See!! I told you my plan would work!”



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